Backhanded compliments

What's the weirdest compliment you've ever had? That's the question posed by my friend Tuppence who says the nicest thing anyone ever said about her was 'Tuppence, the good thing about you is you don't mind having the p*** taken out of you'. Which is just as well really, as I will be soon be blogging about the time she took me headbanging with a bunch of hillbillies let out by their mothers for music night at the Honiton Motel.

Mrs Darling Loggins says she was once told after she'd had a haircut: 'Your hair looks really nice now.' It's a bit like when people say 'you look really well' and you think 'did I look ill before?' But a compliment's a compliment. Another friend was told:' My God, Rubens would have had a field day with that body'. She says it was a long time ago and is grateful she didn't have body issues back then. Mind you, what Mr Grigg said to her sister-in-law was worse. She'd just announced she had lost two stone in weight. 'Christ,' he said. 'You must have been pretty hefty to start with then.'

I once put my foot in it at a friend's house. She was expecting her mum to call so when the doorbell rang, I went to answer it and said: 'Oh, you must be Michelle's mum.' The woman glared, nearly hit me with her handbag and said very tersely: 'No I'm bloody not.' To which I replied, quite cleverly I thought: 'Sorry, Michelle's looks so young, I naturally thought her mum would be young looking too.' It turns out the woman was younger than my friend. Oops, me and my big mouth.

I remember being told I had a behind like an arab mare. I was positively trotting with delight. Until the explanation followed: low slung.

But the best compliment so far was given to neighbour Night Nurse who was told her skirting boards were always so clean. Can you beat that?

That's about it
Love Maddie x

PS I have been told by someone in the village that my blog is a bit bland lately. Well, there are some things you just shouldn't blog. Especially when you are told 'Madge, shut the f***' up'. I am a coward at the best of times, so don't see why I should change now.